


Three Kisses

by snafumoofins



Category: Preacher (TV)
Genre: F/M, First Kiss
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-07-29 02:05:03
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 11,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7666150
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/snafumoofins/pseuds/snafumoofins
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>From first grade to their late teens, Jesse and Tulip share three firsts when it comes to kissing. (Rating boosted for the smut in the final chapter).</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. His First Rejection.

The first time Jesse Custer attempted to kiss Tulip O’Hare was on her first day of school.  
  
For a week now, all Jesse’s classmates ever talked about was the new student coming in. Some said she was a princess from some place called Slovakia, others said she was the president’s daughter.  
  
Jesse knew it was neither. Who’d waste their time on Annville?

The day of, Betsy overheard their teacher talking about the girl, about how the police made her mom send her to school. She was just a normal girl, probably worse off than the rest of them if she lived in Toadvine like Betsy claimed to have overheard. 

Most of his peers were disappointed. Jesse didn’t care either way. He hated all of them, he’d probably hate her too. None of them had to walk on their tip-toes around their parents, none of them got the belt as much as he did, none of them had to pray as much as he had to. They all got new remote controlled cars and ataris for Christmas. Jesse got a second-hand Monopoly set that he could only play alone. 

Still, his daddy made him play nice with the other boys, said it was the "Christian” thing to do. Clive and Donnie and their friends always played cowboys and Indians during recess and while Jesse had originally been excited because he thought he could play as the Duke, they made him play the Indian. The only Indian. Every recess they ran after him, pushed him onto the ground and pretend-shot him until he was sweaty and ticked off. He never fought though, only knew it’d end in his dad belting him. 

On the day the new girl was supposed to arrive, Clive was tying him to a tree with a jump rope when a unfamiliar voice piped in: “Can I play?”

All of the boys turned to see a girl standing there in clothes that were too small for her, kicking the dirt at her feet with her oversized sneakers.

The others immediately knew she was an O’Hare because of the color of her skin, but Jesse Custer thought she was one of the most interesting people he’d ever seen in his few years of life. Her skin was the same color as the coffee he prepared for bible study every Thursday and her hair was frizzy and puffy and seemed to go blow every which-way as the wind blew against it. Her eyes weren’t like the eyes he saw in his peers, no. Her eyes seemed older, like they’d seen a lot more than anyone else in first grade had.

Clive and Donnie made a big deal out of her, laughed for a few moments before Clive said: “Why would we let an _O’Hare_ _or_ a _girl_ play with us? You didn’t even go to kindergarten!”

She doesn’t say anything at all, just stares at them with those eyes of hers.

Nobody says anything for awhile and Jesse takes this opportunity to tug the jump rope around his waist loose before stepping to the side, closer to her. 

Donnie finally pipes up with a grin that Jesse knows means trouble. “Tell you what. You climb to the top of the jungle gym, prove you’re not a wuss like the other girls and you can play.”

The new girl sniffs, looks over to the jungle gym and shrugs, “Fine.”

Before Jesse can stop her, she’s walking towards it. He knows he could shout to her, but he’s afraid of what the others would do to him, afraid they’ll start a fight and he’ll get in trouble with his daddy. Still, he’s fighting with himself to stay still. This isn’t fair. 

She’s new, so of course she wouldn’t know that there’s a yellow jacket nest up at the top of the jungle gym.

When she’s halfway up, he gives a frustrated growl, stomps his foot. “You guys are _jerks_!” he declares towards the other boys before he’s running up to the jungle gym.

“ _Hey!_ ” he realizes he doesn’t know her name, awkwardly adds: “ _Girl!_ ”

She ignores him, keeps climbing, “Don’t call me _girl_. It ain’t my name,” she calls, reaching the top and slamming her hand against the bar up there before she’s clambering down.

All of the boys, Jesse included, openly gape at her as she hops off of the second to last rung of the jungle gym and dusts off her shorts. Jesse can hear Betsy and her friends breaking out in gasps and newfound gossip behind them.

“There y’all are. Can I play now?” she put one hand on her hip, the other in her pocket, looks at them with a challenging gaze. Jesse swears she’s trying too hard though, for some reason.

Clive’s the first to pipe up in a groan, “Donnie, _c’mon_ , no she’s an O-”

“She’s got more balls than you Clive,” Donnie says, and the other boys hoot and laugh as Clive’s shoulders sink. “Yeah, I guess. You wanna be the lady that gets tied to the train tracks by the redskins?” he directs towards her. The new girl makes an annoyed face, shaking her head. “Naw, I wanna be an Indian,” she says, flicking a quick look over Jesse.

“Fine,” Donnie says with a shrug before he leads the cowboys back to their headquarters at the monkey bars.

“Wow...That was-” Jesse cuts off as she pulls her trembling hand out of her pocket, covered in angry, red welts. “ _Woah,_ a-are...are you okay?”

She doesn’t say anything, he can hardly tell she’s hurting besides the way her mouth’s wound tightly together. “There a bathroom ‘round here?” she asks in a mutter and Jesse finds himself taking her other hand (though she flinches at the touch) and leading her into the school.

He takes her into the boys’ room since he knows all the boys pee outside anyway when the teacher’s not looking and runs some cold water from the sink's tap. “Why didn’t you cry?” Jesse asks her as she lowers her hand into the water with a wince. Heck knows that Betsy cries when someone so much as bumps into her.

“I’m not a baby,” she replies, like it’s just that simple. “This ain’t helping, _sonovabitch,_ ” she jerks her hand away from the water angrily and sinks to the floor.

“I don’t even wanna be here,” she complains, hugging her arms around her knees and glaring at her wasp-stings.

“Why did you come, then?” Jesse asks, sitting down beside her. He doesn’t really know why, but he likes this girl a lot for just meeting her. She reminds him of Mattie Ross, from _True Grit_. Tough and not afraid of no one, not even the other cowboys. 

“’Cos of some friggin’ cop that came to the whorehouse saw me and said I should be in school,” she replied. Each time she used a cuss word he found himself confused. None of the other girls did that, not even many of the boys swore.

“That blows,” is all he says, trying to sound as cool as he can.

“It’s nice of you t’help me and all, but you better go. Don’t wanna be seen with an O’Hare,” the girl says, “They don’t seem to care right now, but my uncle says when their daddies find out I’m here, they’re gonna get pissed.”  She starts rubbing over the welts with her other hand and Jesse knows that can’t feel good at all. 

“ _Hey_ , don’t do that!” He reaches over, grabs her hand and frowns. “That’s gotta hurt. Besides, you said you wanted to be an Indian. I’m on your team now, no matter who you are.”

She looks at him with those piercing eyes and Jesse fails to notice that her face is a little pink. He tries to ask himself what John Wayne would do right now, and it’s a stupid notion, but he takes her other hand with the stings and lifts it to his mouth.

He’s startled when he kisses the side of her other hand, slapping his face.

“ _What_ in _Sam Hill_ are you doing?!” she hisses, scowling at him and hiding her hands behind her back.

“I thought that was s’posed to make it feel better!” Jesse exclaimed, eyes wide and hands held in front of him in an attempt of displaying neutrality.

“Yeah, maybe if you’re a _baby._ You don’t just freakin’ kiss someone without knowin’ their name!” she gives a loud huff and scrambles to her feet, running her hand under the tap again.

“Well, what’s your name?” he asks, mentally patting himself on the back for being so smooth.

“Priscilla-Jean Henrietta O’Hare, but don’t call me that. Call me Tulip” before he can speak, she cuts him off: “And _no_ , you can’t kiss me now ‘cos you know my name.”

Jesse’s shoulders sink and he knows she’s never gonna talk to him again. He’s screwed this whole thing up big time.

When he looks up, she’s standing there with her hands on her hips again. “Well?”

“Well what?” he asks, miserably.

“What’s your name, _boy_?” a smile snakes its way upon her lips as she mocks him from earlier.  
  
“Jesse. Jesse Custer,” he says and finds himself confused as she extends her uninjured hand to him.

He takes it, surprised as she shakes it. “Well, you and me, we’re partners now. ‘Till the end of the world. You say that back, all right?”

He misses the way she watches him with soft eyes as he considers her prompt, the way her face is still red from earlier. “Yeah, okay, ‘till the end of the world.”

“Good. C’mon,” she pulls him to his feet. 

Tulip leads the way back to the playground and for the first time all year, the Indians beat the cowboys on account of Tulip’s idea of mixing gravel in with some mud and taking point above them on the slide.

Tulip and Jesse both got send to stand against the wall for the rest of recess after Clive started crying because they tied him to the same tree he’d tied Jesse to. 

 


	2. Their First Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jesse and Tulip have grown a lot during their first year as friends, unfortunately, their peers have grown to understand some things too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: this chapter contains the mention of some racist pricks doing some mean things to Tulip and contains depictions of abuse. 
> 
> Feel free to prompt me at gxnsandtxlips.tumblr.com

Early on, Tulip O’Hare knew better than to trust any man. Staying at Toadvine all day for most of her young life and on the weekends after the cops had found her was enough to show her this. They thought with their dicks and talked with their hands. 

She saw how they would get in fights just to make themselves look better to Mosie’s girls (which Tulip thought was stupid since they had to like them anyway; it was their job). She saw how pissed they got when someone made them feel like less of a man.

She saw what happened to her mama when she talked back.

 It was the first boyfriend, Billy, that hurt her mama. Tulip figured the ones before him did it too, but she was too young to know better. She was six when Billy, the dumbass, fat truck driver hit her mama while she pretended to sleep on the couch in their trailer. Tulip didn’t do anything though. She was a big, scared baby back then and she still got pissed when she thought of how she just kept her eyes shut while the dickwad hit her mama. 

The next year, it was Herb and when he lifted his fist to her ma in their cramped, tiny home, Tulip went at him as hard as she could for a seven-year-old. Bit into his wrist and tore at it like she saw the stray mutts in town do with garbage.

Herb’d been stronger though, picked her up by the hair and, well, Tulip still had cigarette burns etched into her arm from that one. 

When the only guy that was okay for her, Jesse, asked about those marks, she just told him it was from leaning on a radiator by accident. It was a shitty excuse, nobody had no radiators on in Annville, but Jesse believed her. 

Jesse Custer was the best guy in Annville, the best guy in Tulip’s whole entire life. 

He made her feel a lot of things, even if she never showed it and just beat him up instead.

Ever since Jesse said “Till the end of the world,” back to her, her and him were best friends. They did everything together and he never left her side. Even when the boys in school started to tease her for worse things than being a girl, Jesse never backed down.  When they put a noose in her backpack,  when Clive chased her with a white pillow case on his head, even when Betsy shouted: “ _At least my mama don’t spread her legs for money!_ ” at her in class. 

Jesse always yelled at them, always helped Tulip clean herself off after the brawls that followed these incidents. Jesse even took the brunt of his daddy’s belt when they got in trouble. 

She never saw why he cared so much, she wasn’t pretty and she was the worst sort of person to be in Annville, half-black and an O’Hare. Nothing about her should’ve appealed to him, but even the tiniest insult at her would send him screwing his face in frustration and rage. 

Her and Jesse, they were thick as thieves. They met halfway to walk to school together, ate lunch together, walked back together. Jesse even helped her keep up with their studies, practically taught her how to write her letters all by himself. 

Tulip was in love. She knew what love was from all the old movies Mosie would play in the kitchen while she cooked, but she’d never _felt_  it. 

She had to be extra sure, so that Sunday, she went around Toadvine, asking whoever was available (besides the men) what love was. 

Lousie’d said love was when your guy didn’t care if you shaved or not.

Annabelle’d said love was when you got butterflies in your chest and felt your ass clench whenever your fella was around. 

Mosie’d said that love felt like a warm ray of sunshine, said it made you feel like you were in a Rita Hayworth movie.

It’d been enough for Tulip to gather that she was in love, enough for her to figure that she and Jesse would probably get married in a few years. 

Thing was, she wasn’t sure he was in love with her. Sure, he said ‘till the end of the world, but that wasn’t enough for her. 

Tulip stood on the porch of Toadvine, hands in her pockets as she waited for her mama to finish with her last client. 

She didn’t like the guy that followed her mom out (she never liked them, but she _really_  didn’t like this one). He tried patting Tulip’s head as they stopped in front of her and the girl flinched back, just like she flinched away each time Annville elementary’s principal tried to put his hand on her shoulder to scold her, just like she flinched from any man. 

“We’re goin’ home, aren’t we?” Tulip asked, ignoring the asshole completely. She hated her ma in times like this, when she had those glazed over eyes from whatever her and her john were shooting up or snorting. Her mama didn’t even look at her, just giggled as the john whispered in her ear. 

“Go to Walter’s for mama, woncha’ ‘cilla?” 

Tulip didn’t even get to answer ‘cos her mama was walking off with the shady dickwad to his truck. 

Tulip glared off after his truck as it sped off from Toadvine, decided she wouldn’t go to Walter’s because he’d just be drunk and his snoring would keep her awake. 

She walked to their trailer alone in the dark, using the occasional headlights of passing vehicles to keep on the right path. It wasn’t the first time and sometimes, the young new cop, Root would pick her up and drive her home, where she’d lie and say her mama was sleeping inside. 

She used the key she kept in her schoolbag to let herself in, started some water on the stove for mac ‘n cheese and walked a few steps over to the lumpy couch that served as her bed. After a good rifle beneath it, she found one of her old dresses, with polka dots and strawberries on it. Mama’d been clean when she got Tulip this dress, said she was her little ‘cilla Strawberry. 

She wasn’t shit now, was she? Tulip tried the dress on, but couldn’t move her arms from how tiny it was, ended up ripping it as she struggled to get it off. 

Disappointed, she settled for cleaning one of her three school outfits in the sink, finishing dinner and smoking one of her ma's cigarettes before she went to bed.

The next day, Tulip woke earlier than usual, brushed her teeth and washed her face before she got into her mama’s stash of makeup. Tulip knew those old movie stars wore makeup and while she always thought it was stupid for a girl to cover her face up in gunk, she wanted to do something nice for Jesse, wanted him to know how much she really liked him. In the movies, the guys always looked like fishes when they saw their girls for the first time, gaping and big-eyed. 

She figured if Jesse did that when he saw her, it’d be true love. 

Tulip frowned as she looked into the bag of makeup. Half of the time when she watched her mama or one of the whores at Mosie’s do their makeup, it looked like they were just torturing themselves. 

Still, spending most of your life in a whore house guaranteed that you knew some shit about makeup. 

Tulip knew her mama’s cover-up shit was too dark for her skin, so she tossed it aside before she went for the blush, smacking the stuff onto her cheeks. She approached her eyes like she did with coloring, and Tulip really wasn’t good at coloring in the lines all prettily like the other girls in class did. Her eyeliner was far from her eye-line and her eyeshadow not only covered her eyelids, but the area surrounding her eyes. She’d finished her look with brown lipstick. It didn’t look half-bad, but the shit was on her teeth when she attempted a smile. 

Tulip looked herself over, deciding that she looked like a freakin’ clown, but that’s what everyone in makeup looked like, at least to her. It was probably enough for Jesse, wasn’t it? 

After she had some cereal without milk (their fridge stopped working a week ago), Tulip pulled on her clothes and decided to walk straight to school today, without waiting for Jesse. He’d probably worry about her like he always did, but when he came into class to see her sitting there like Rita Hayworth, he’d _have_  to love her back, wouldn’t he? 

She held onto her backpack straps as she walked into class, sat in the very back where she always did and didn’t seem to realize that the shrieks and giggles surrounding her were especially  _at_  her today. It happened so often because of her family, because of her skin color, because of how she acted that she’d learned to tune it out. 

When Jesse finally came in, he looked right towards her desk with a worried expression that melted as soon as he saw her. 

Tulip did notice he looked confused, though. 

“What’s all this?” Jesse asked as he sat down at his desk, frowning. 

Tulip shrugged and twirled her hair like the women did in the movies always did when guys talked to them. 

Jesse stared at her for a moment longer, completely befuddled before passing her her lunch, like always. “I put some bananas in with the peanut butter sandwich today. Figured you must get tired of the same thing.” 

Tulip took the bag and made a face, peering into it for a moment. “Bananas and peanut butter?” 

“Yeah. It’s good, I promise,” Jessie assured. 

She trusted him, even if the combination sounded stupid.

* * *

Jesse didn’t really act any different than he usually did that day, and Tulip was well beyond ticked off at this by recess. 

“Don’t you _notice_  anything?” she demanded as they sat side-by-side under the shade of the tree that Clive and Donnie used to tie them to. 

“Huh?” Jesse glanced up from the newspaper comics he’d brought to read together. 

“Don’t you... _see_  anything different?” Tulip sat up on her knees, intently blinked in his face. 

Jesse hesitated for a moment before he started to say something. 

Tulip never heard it over Clive’s loud howl. 

“ _Hooey,_ boys, I found me a wild O’Hare clown!” 

Tulip flinched and looked to the ground as Jesse glared up at the group of boys that had approached. “Leave her alone-” he started, as always, but this time Tulip touched his arm in a way that signaled for him to leave it. 

Anymore, with all the trouble they’d been in lately, and how often Tulip knew Jesse’s daddy hurt him with his belt, it wasn’t worth it no more. 

“You tryna’ look normal, O’Hare?” Donnie asked, crossing his arms over his chest, “You’d only look normal hangin’ offa this tree.” the other boys cackled and hooted behind him. 

Tulip knew their daddies all said this shit about her, about her whole family, but it never made it feel okay for them to repeat it at her. It made her wanna push them down and punch and punch and punch on them ‘till they were nothing but mush, but she couldn’t get Jesse in trouble. 

“What, you mute now too?” another boy in the pack called, and as much as it hurt, Tulip just kept her mouth shut while Jesse helplessly looked between her and the group. 

Usually they’d leave by now, but her being silent only seemed to make them angrier and angrier. 

“Here, lemme give you some-what is it? Concealer?” Clive shrugged before he kicked the ground in front of her, dust and rocks spraying into her face, into her eyes. 

That was enough for her. 

She stood up immediately, rubbed her teary eyes  with her clenched fist and was ready to punch Clive right in his stupid face when his shocked, delighted face took her off guard. 

“You look just like your momma now, cryin’ ‘cos no man wants to buy her!” he howled with laughter in her face and for Tulip, that _really_  was enough for her now. She shoved him as hard as she could, pushing the boy flat onto his ass. 

Jesse, who’d stood up with her, ready to fight, watched as, for once, Tulip left it at that and stormed off into the school. '

"Why the heck d'you suck up to her, Custer, you in _looove_?" Donnie scowled at him as he helped Clive to his feet.

Jesse glared at them hard and long before saying, "She's my best friend. I don't care who she is or what _damn_ color her skin is. She's my _best_ friend, you assholes."

Before they can jeer at him, he's running off after Tulip.

* * *

 

Tulip went for the boys’ room and violently swiped the angry tears from her dirty face as she looked in the mirror. She looked like a complete idiot. Why the shit did she think this would do anything? Jesse didn’t even notice her like he was supposed to, the only ones that did notice just laughed in her face. She immediately started the tap and slapped water against her face, desperately and violently rubbing at her face to get the makeup off. 

She jumped when a hand touched her shoulder, afraid it was their teacher, but when she turned, it was Jesse, looking at her with big, sad eyes. 

“Tulip, they’re jerks, you-” 

“I did it for _you_ ,” she interrupted, her voice thick from the crying she’d done on the way to the bathroom. 

“The makeup..?” Jesse cautiously asked before he went ahead and reached over for a towel to soak in the water. 

“Yeah,” Tulip mumbled, allowing him to wipe the rest of the makeup and dirt from her face. “’Cos I wanted to see if you liked me.” 

“Yeah, I like you,” Jesse nonchalantly replied as he wiped her mouth. 

Tulip gazed at him, at how concentrated he was on getting the lipstick off of her. She really did love him. She would beat up the whole school for him if she had to. She’d beat up God if she had to. 

“There,” he tossed the wet, smudged towel in the trash, “I don’t think you need makeup, though, Tulip” he said, “I think you’re pretty without it.” 

Her face gets all hot and she glares past him for a moment, truly touched by his words. 

Still, she punches him in the shoulder. 

“ _Hey_! What was that for?” Jesse cried, grabbing his shoulder and glaring at her with a frown. 

Tulip didn’t say anything, didn’t say that it was just because she wasn’t sure how to take a compliment. Instead, she lifted hooked fingers, widened her eyes as she crept closer to him. “I got _coooooties_ ,” she called in a singsong voice. 

Jesse looked at her in wide eyed confusion for a moment before he managed a grin and took off running, Tulip hot on his heels. 

* * *

Halfway through the day, Tulip got called to the school’s office, figured it was about recess and Clive. 

Instead, the secretary told her that she was supposed to go to Walter’s after school from now on. Mama got arrested. Got caught with that shady, stupid john in his meth lab. 

Tulip didn’t make much of it. Her ma was hardly there to begin with, anymore. If anything, Mosie raised her the most, so did some of the whores at Toadvine, but her ma, well. She was a shit ma.

The only person in the whole wide world who she knew would never do something stupid like that was Jesse. He’d always be there with her ‘till the end of the world. Always. Even if he didn’t seem to know how important it was to her, sometimes, even if he didn’t really know how to love her the way she loved him, yet, he’d be there. 

She thought about this as they walked home from school. 

When they reached the crossroads towards Annville’s suburbs and the path to John Custer’s church, she spoke up.  

“Hey, Jesse.” 

He paused from turning to leave, hardly had time to react as Tulip grabbed him by his backpack strap, hauled him closer and kissed him right on the mouth. 

It was a brief, wet kiss and as soon as she let go, they both wiped their mouths on the back of their hands in unison, Tulip with a wry smile and Jesse with his eyes blown wide open in shock. _Just like a goldfish_. 

“What was _that_  for?” he demanded, his cheeks, to Tulip’s delight, going pink.

“Just felt like it,” she said, shrugging. “See you tomorrow.” 

“Y-Yeah...you too,” Jesse hurriedly turned to walk away, eyes still as big as saucers. 

“Hey Jesse?” 

He paused and turned around, a little wary that she might grab him again. “Yeah?” 

“Till the end of the world, right?” Tulip’s face was soft, her eyes sad. She always looked like this when she asked, always broke his heart a little. 

“Till the end of the world.” 

She watched him resume walking, watched him until he was a tiny dot with a big grin on her face. 

A week later, she watched him again, watched how he turned into a tiny dot as the social worker’s car drove further and further away from him. 

He kept running though. 

And even though Tulip damned John Custer, she knew Jesse would find her, she knew he’d find her and take her back and they’d be together till the end of the world. 

No matter how scared she was, she kept telling herself that in the back of that car, “ _Till the end of the world.”_


	3. Their (Second) First Kiss. His First Time.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After twelve years of living hell in Angelville, Jesse never expected to see freedom again. Unexpectedly, it comes to him in the form of the woman he'd only dreamed of seeing again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains mentions of abuse and smut, which wasn't in the cards at first, but who doesn't love smut? B) 
> 
> No beta so there may be a few errors. 
> 
> This has been an absolute delight to write, please feel free to prompt for more at gxnsandtxlips.tumblr.com :) Thanks for the support y'all

In Angelville, there were only two  perpetual states of being. Screaming, muffled agony within a coffin in the bottom of a lake, or in silent, smothering agony seated within a locked, blank-walled room. 

Recently, he’d been released from his month of punishment within the coffin, left to sit on a paper thin mattress with a blank gaze boring into the peeling wallpaper across from him. 

If anyone could’ve tortured the fight from him, it was that wretched, mean old woman. Just the sound of her creaking wheelchair sent panic rattling through his body. 

The fight to escape her bony, crushing grip had withered away a long while ago. Previously, at least twice a year, Jesse would try to run from Angelville only to be dragged back by T.C and Jody, who saw him running as a festivity, some sort of fucked up fox hunt. 

If Jesse knew one thing, it was that this wasn’t no life for a boy to live for so long. His twenty-first birthday was spent in that damned coffin, where he hoarsely sang himself “happy birthday,” vomit caked into his shirt, eyes hollow and dead.

Jesse never got to be a kid, he never got to sneak into his first R rated movie, never got to sneak shots of whiskey when no adults were around, never got to run around and just fucking _play_. 

All day, he had to sit in that room with that _woman,_ had to memorize every bit of the bible as she saw fit, had to endure the fist of Jody and the revolting stories from T.C. 

The only good thing he could ever think on, the only thing that could spur him back into giving enough of a shit to run away, to be strong, was Tulip O’Hare.

It’d been how long? About twelve years since he’d chased that car hauling her off for good? Even so, that girl was all he thought on in this silence. There were things he never got when he was a kid, things he understood now. Tulip didn’t have a nice life. She didn’t have no parents that gave a shit, she had to stay in a whorehouse and listen to all the happenings there most of the time. If not there, she lived alone or with a narcoleptic drunk. Those _hadn’t_ been radiator burns on her arm, those _hadn’t_ been bruises from tripping on the sidewalk. The things the kids said in school about her, all ‘cos of her skin color, they were unforgivable. 

Sometimes, Jesse’d dream he was a kid again, Tulip would be right there with him, by his side,  _‘till the end of the world._ Hell, sometimes he _did_  imagine her when that old bitch was drilling into him, standing with hard eyes, telling him to “ _Buck up, Custer, don’t let this old bat do shit to you.”_

In his dreams, they weren’t in Annville, they were Angelville. Sometimes, Jody would wring his hands around her neck and snap her in half like she was just a doll. Sometimes, T.C would be touching on her while Jesse was immobilized, screaming for him to stop. The worst ones were where his grandma had her, though. She was a racist, disgusting old bat, just as bad as all the kids in school had been to Tulip. She’d kill Tulip in varying ways each time he’d dreamt of it. Sometimes in these nightmares, Jesse would be as he was, twenty-one. A grown man, helpless to watch as his disgusting old grandmother slit his childhood sweetheart’s throat. 

He’d always wake in a sweat, his heart hammering and aching something fierce. 

It was hell, to sit there and wonder where she was, what she was doing. As much as he loved her, as much as he wished he could see her now, be there for her now and hold her so tight she’d never be afraid of lonely again, he hoped she was happy, even if it was with someone else. Most of the time he suspected she’d forgotten about him long ago. 

Now, after being in the coffin for so long, Jesse could do little more than lay and stare at the ceiling, his bones all cricked up from the cramped box. Standing made him woozy and made his empty stomach churn. He was a disgusting sight. He hadn’t looked in the mirror for a long while, but he saw himself, saw his his ribs poked out like he was a starved mutt, all the strength in his body zapped, just like _she_  liked it. 

Maybe he should just end it, find Jody’s gun, blast his head off. Maybe he’d be finally able to watch Tulip wherever he was, see how that wild-haired girl of his had grown. 

She would be better off without him; he was beyond broken. Jesse didn’t know a third of what any other man would know. Didn’t even know how to make a woman feel good, besides from what T.C gibbered about (though half the time he spoke about animals over women _)._

Tulip deserved the best, deserved the world. _She’s better off_. 

Jesse closed his eyes, hoped that maybe he’d have a nice dream, just this once. Maybe of the first time she scrambled into his bed to sleep with him, maybe of their first kiss. Still, even the good memories soured in his stomach. He wasn’t that boy anymore,  he was someone completely different. 

After drifting off  for a short while, Jesse stirred from a soft rattling from the door. His neck was too cramped up to lift his head, leaving him to stare at the ceiling and only wonder what was coming for him. 

The rattling went on for a few moments longer until he heard the _click_  of the door lock. 

He stiffened, readied himself for the heavy thumps of Jody’s boots, or the scuffles of T.C’s jittery steps. He could never be ready to hear the screeches of _her_  wheelchair, though. Never. 

But instead of either of those three noises, he heard soft footfalls. His gaze flicked from side to side in confusion, his heart stuttering as he heard an intake of breath, a muffled whimper and a sob. 

“ _Jesse Custer._..” 

It was a dream. 

He knew he’d wake from this eventually, knew he’d sit up to his grandmother with her bony hands around her toffee colored neck. 

She didn’t sound the same as he remembered though, not that slow, monotone voice that would tease him, threaten others. It was huskier, all with the same southern tang that caressed his name in the most gentle way he’d known or heard in the past twelve years. 

He closed his eyes tight, hoped he’d wake, but the footfalls only came closer. 

“ _Jesse_ ,” her voice was thick and the sudden splatter of salty… _tears_  against his mouth and neck made him open his eyes. 

All he could do was gape, wish fiercely that this wasn’t some fucked up dream, that, for once, this was something real. 

And fuck, did the hand touching his cheek feel warm and real and _so_  soft. 

“Tulip,” his voice was a croak, made her close her eyes and shake her head in anger at the state he was in. 

She was beautiful, she was beyond anything he could’ve ever imagined. Her skin seemed to glow in the moonlight, that same, beautiful topaz that made his heart shiver. Her eyes were still as sharp as ever, though harder than he remembered. Her face was leaner, her lips plusher. Her hair was still wild, though curled a bit more tightly. He watched the way it bounced as she cried at the sight of him. 

She even wore makeup, he noticed, better than she did that one time in school. 

“Tulip,” he repeated, the name so foreign on his mouth. It felt good to say, made him feel a little warmer. “How’d you…” 

She took a long moment, slowly sinking to crouch beside him, her fingers spanning along his bony arm, up his shoulder, touching his jawline. 

“Spent two years looking for you…” she murmured, her breath smelling of nicotine and whiskey. “Was staying in Annville with Walter.” 

Her warm, soft hands encircled his face and _christ,_ it was the softest touch he’d ever felt, a vast difference from the wrinkled hands that would squeeze his face so hard that his cheeks would bruise. “I didn’t know, Jesse…” her voice was thick again, and it hurt his heart worse than his grandmother’d ever hurt him. “I’m _sorry_ , Jesse I…I tried to run away so many times from the foster homes, but they would always catch up I…should’ve left _sooner_. I didn’t _know_ , Jesse, I didn’t-” she broke off into a soft sob and he watched her look away, a storm brewing in those eyes of hers, full of self hatred and rage.  

With a trembling hand, he finally touched her face, surprised at how soft her tear-stained cheek felt under his calloused fingers. Slowly, he pushed his hand into her curls, savoring the feel of this, that this was _real_. “Ain’t nothin’ you coulda’ done, Tulip.” he said, watching her gaze return to his and make his heart stutter again. He doubted he’d ever get used to that beautifully intimidating stare. “I tried too,” he explained, not failing to notice the way she glanced towards the door, a hint of worry on her expression. 

“We can…We can talk later, Jesse. We gotta get you out of here ‘fore one of those redneck goatfuckers come ‘round,” he tried to focus on her words, but his head was spinning. Never in a million years did he ever think he’d be out of this hellhole, let alone out of this hellhole with Tulip.

Blackness swam at the edge of Jesse’s vision for a moment before he felt a gentle slap to his cheek. “ _Custer_ , we don’t got no time for you to pass out or some shit. I can’t carry you like friggin’ He-Man you gotta help me out.” 

Yeah, this was his Tulip, all right. 

With his arm around her shoulders, he stood, mesmerized by how small her frame felt under his arm. 

“You…want to take anything?” Tulip ventured, falling silent as she saw the look on his face. “All right, Jesse, let’s go.” 

Slowly, they walked from his room, Jesse silently halting them as they came upon the floorboards that would rattle, the steps that would squeak. He was covered in a cold sweat by the time they were out of his grandmother’s house, Jesse not sparing a single glance back at that damned old house and all that came with it as they left. 

There was a midnight purple chevelle waiting for them uphill from his grandmother’s, one that Jesse would’ve admired a lot more if he wasn’t shaking so hard from all the physical exertion and stress of leaving so soon after his time in the coffin.

If he’d learned one thing from the meaner of the two rednecks he’d grown up with, it was cars. Even though Jody usually ended up slamming Jesse’s face into the table by the end of things,  he’d sometimes let Jesse read his car magazines just to have someone who knew enough to talk towards about them. 

As soon as Jesse was in the car, Tulip leaned over and touched his face, made him look into her eyes. 

“’Till the end of the world, Jesse Custer,” she told him, her eyes so warm, so loving that he would’ve cried if he hadn’t been a Custer. 

“’Till the end of the world, Tulip…I…” he paused and slowly, reached up to touch her cheek with his shaking hand. 

Almost magnetically, her face shifted closer to his and for the first time in his new body, in his new life, he kissed her. It wasn’t anything fancy; he’d not kissed a single girl since that kiss she’d given him as children, but it reinvigorated him. Her soft lips sparked life into his tired, tortured bones, made his soul ache to get _moving,_ to make something of his life with her at his side. 

“I love you,” immediately spilled from his mouth as they parted, his tired eyes looking over her, waiting for a reaction. 

Something crossed Tulip’s face, the same look that crossed her face as kids when she was thinking of the dark memories that she told nobody but Jesse. His worry diminished as suddenly, she softly smiled. “I love you too, Jesse. Always have, always will. Can’t get rid of me that easy.” 

She reached in the back and drew out an old blanket, _his_  blanket from his bed in Annville, he realized. “I kept it. Slept with it a lot,” she mumbled, too embarrassed to look at the dumb, lovelorn smile on his face as she wrapped it around him. “Let’s get outta here.” 

And they did. She drove like a madwoman, but he didn’t mind. He sat slumped in his seat and enjoyed the breeze of the night air through the chevelle’s rolled down windows. 

At some point, he started talking. Told her about meeting his grandmother the first time, how she said he needed to be a holy man for their family. He told Tulip about the abuse, watched her knuckles go white on the wheel and her jaw clench.

When he finished telling her about his first time in the coffin, she stopped the car completely. It was the middle of the night on a remote Texas road, he knew they’d be fine, but her posture worried him. 

There was something more to her now, a  predatory sense about her that made him feel she was much more dangerous than he remembered. 

“Jesse…” her voice was low, “You give me the word. You tell me you want me to and I will turn this car around, put a bullet in that old bitch’s head.”

He stared at her, the moon glinting off of her eyes. In all his life, nobody ever offered to do something like that for him. For something so dangerous, she’d offered it as though it wouldn’t be a single inconvenience to her. He should’ve said so to her, should’ve kissed her again, but all he said was: “I just really want one of them big buckets of chicken from KFC and sleep.” 

“Okay, Jesse…okay,” he watched her brow relax a bit, watched her stare out at the road for a moment in silence before she reached over to touch his hand.

“They’re not gonna take you ever again so long as I’m alive, you get me?” She’s looking at him with those piercing eyes again and he dumbly nods in reply. 

They drive for awhile until Tulip seems satisfied with the distance they’ve put between them and Angelville. She pulls into a motel, rifles in her purse and pulls out a wad of cash. Jesse doesn’t ask where she’s worked to get all that money, doesn’t ask how she got it, just leans heavily against the plush cushions of her chevelle while she heads into the motel’s office to get them a room.

Once they unlock the door to their room, Tulip pulls a face that he assumes is a bit disgusted with the place. Jesse realizes that he might be wrong in that assumption. Fuck knows they were still strangers towards each other in a few ways, for all he knew, that was the face she made when she was pleased now. 

Nonetheless, the bed’s mattress was three times as plush as his excuse for a bed in Angelville. Jesse immediately trudged over and collapsed onto the mattress, his body screaming in relief at finally finding a decent surface to rest upon. He faintly felt Tulip touch his back and stroke it, and that touch was enough to lull him into a dreamless slumber. 

 Jesse woke to the smell of chicken, groggily cracking an eye open as he pushed himself up to sit against the headboard of the bed. For a split moment, he had been terrified that this was all some cruel dream, that he would sit up to find he was still in his room in his grandmother’s, but he was still in the motel. 

Had he run away on his own? Imagined her this whole time? Maybe she’d been overwhelmed by how pathetic he was now and run off, unable to deal with him. 

Tulip, however, wasn’t in the room. 

He took a moment to focus himself, heard the running water of the shower, faintly caught the sound of Tulip humming to herself, and relaxed. 

After a glance around the room, he noticed three buckets of KFC chicken bunched together on his bedside table with a few bottles of water and a good sized pile of men’s clothes on the chair nearby. 

He gave a shiver of relief as he bit into his first drumstick, the shitty, greasy fast food a wonderful change from the shit Jody served him. 

Jesse struggled to pace himself as he worked through two of the KFC buckets, scarfing up chicken like the starved mutt he probably looked like. When he’d licked his fingers clean and moved onto drinking some water, the door to the bathroom opened. 

Jesse dropped the open bottle of water immediately at the sight of her, hardly cared at all that it spilled and soaked into his ratty shirt. 

She was beautiful. 

He’d not really seen much of her in the moonlit darkness besides her face, but her body was beyond anything he could even imagine. 

Her body was lean, skin nearly seemed to _glow_ like fucking honey. She had more weight to her thighs, had curves, _boobs_. 

Even now, with a towel wrapped around her torso and an unlit cigarette hanging from her lips, she looked like a fucking goddess to him. He swore that her skin seemed to radiate warmth, even from so far away. Jesse felt the urge to kiss one of those shoulders of hers, kiss every inch of her. 

“Jesus, Jesse, ain’t you ever seen…” she seemed to be about to tease him, make light of him being a complete fuck up for dropping his water, but thought better of it and gave a soft huff of laughter instead.

“That’s all right, gotcha new clothes anyway while I was out,” she smiled lightly, though it seemed pained. He understood. It couldn’t be easy seeing him looking like a fucking skeleton, let alone seeing him after so long. 

Jesse nodded as he self consciously bunched the blanket she’d covered him with during his long nap over his hard-on, unused to having a hard-on to even fucking begin with. 

“Shower’s free, why don’t you get cleaned up?” Tulip suggested, walking over and glancing down at the bone filled buckets with a nod of satisfaction before lighting her cigarette. 

Jesse couldn’t help himself from staring at her face, feeling like the luckiest man in the entire goddamned world as she leaned down, removing the cigarette from her lips to kiss him. 

It was gentle, didn’t last long, but it made his chest soar. 

“You smoke?” she asked as she turned away, taking a drag. 

“I…” he faltered, feeling pathetic. He’d missed out on everything, had the knowledge of a fucking child when it came to these things. 

“Probably better off,” Tulip shot him a grin before taking another drag and exhaling with a distant look in her eyes. He knew she must be hurting,  knew he wasn’t the easiest to be around right now, with all the pain he was hauling behind him. Still, she took care of him. He knew he’d do the same for her, but he didn’t feel that he deserved it one damned bit. 

“G’on and shower, baby,” she nodded to the door and he shifted over, standing up from her side to properly hide his reaction to her body. 

He stood in the shower for a long while, letting the cold water pelt into his face, wash away Angelville. 

He felt more human as he dried off after his shower. He brushed his teeth and pulled on one of the pairs of briefs she’d brought to him, not failing to note that the tag had already been torn off. 

Jesse turned to the door and placed his hand on the doorknob, pausing for a moment. He had no clue what was coming next, if she’d be gone when he went out or if she’d be there, waiting for him in that bed. Part of him feared the second option.

* * *

Tulip smoked another cigarette while she waited for Jesse. Even with the nicotine, she still struggled to keep calm for Jesse, despite the fucking tsunami of rage she felt towards that old bitch back in Angelville. Seeing Jesse like that, like a _corpse_  had almost been enough for her to leave that cramped excuse for a bedroom and end every other fucker in that house before taking him away from there. 

Jesse had missed so much of his life, missed so much _living_. If she could’ve just fucking run away sooner, found those records of his family sooner, she could’ve had him away sooner. 

Instead, she spent her years working at Flavor Station, flirting with old truck drivers and fucking strangers whenever she wanted to feel even more empty than she already did. 

It wasn’t right, what happened to Jesse. He was the last boy on the entire world to deserve it. The abuse, the coffin…Tulip squeezed her eyes shut for a moment, exhaled through her nose and stubbed out her cigarette on the ashtray beside their bed. 

Just as she withdrew her hand, the bathroom door opened. 

Jesse stood in some of the briefs she’d stolen over in the next town, looking as lost as Mary’s friggin’ lamb with those big, brown eyes. 

She wanted to go to him, hold him as tight as she could and tell him nobody’d ever touch him again, but she didn’t, just patted the space in bed beside her. 

Despite being mostly skin and bones, he certainly had some muscles. Through all that torture, Jesse had a lean body, said that bitch grandma made him fight, wanted him to be tough. 

As he carefully down on the bed before laying beside her, Tulip noticed two tattoos. One skull sitting upon a Texas star and another she couldn’t make out entirely. 

She watched him glance about, terribly nervous about being in bed with her before placing his hands on his stomach. He looked over to her, hesitance written stark against his face. 

His eyes were so soft, so ginger that she couldn’t help but admire him for the man he’d grown into. 

Instinctively, she leaned over, pressed her lips to his and gently guided him through a soft kiss, cupping his cheek. She slid her hand down his chest, felt the sudden urge to make him stop thinking so hard and _feel_  something good for once. 

She let her hands kid down his chest, grabbed the waistband of his briefs. 

He froze, pulled back and immediately looked ashamed of himself. “I’m sorry I…” 

Tulip couldn’t help but feel a little hurt from the rejection, but fuck knows she understood. Even when they were kids, after getting to know her, Jesse was careful to touch her when she saw it coming, no sneaking behind her unless they were playing. 

“I don’t want you to do that because you think you have to.” 

Tulip was taken aback. Every guy she’d ever fucked never asked anything of her, they expected it. None of them ever said “no, that’s all right, do what you want,” they _took_. 

She gave a soft laugh, nearly cried from how damned sweet he was to her. “Come here,” gently, she rolled him over on his side, pulled his back to her front and slipped her arms around his waist. 

She rubbed his arm, nuzzled his neck and found herself finally feeling that release she’d been looking for for so very long, of having him in her arms, safe and sound. 

“What’s that tattoo on your shoulder?” she murmured and he drew away, glancing back at it sheepishly. 

“That’s my Tulip. Few years ago I snuck the tattoo kit out of _her_  room, sat in the bathroom and looked over my shoulder while I tried to draw a tulip. Forgot what it looked like, really, but I just wanted it there. Wanted to know that my Tulip was always with me. Got put in the coffin for a month for that.” 

He said it as though it wasn’t special, like it was something anyone else would’ve done. 

Tulip lay completely still for awhile, a bleary, wobbly smile on her lips, tears pooling in her eyes. “That’s…” her voice cracked and slowly, she pressed her face into his hair, squeezed her eyes shut and let her body wrack a few times as she sobbed. 

Jesse immediately turned around, looked at her with those big, worried eyes. 

“I’m fine I…That’s the nicest thing anyone’s ever done with me in mind,” she couldn’t meet his gaze, too ashamed at herself for crying like this over a tattoo. 

“It’s an ugly ass tattoo,” Jesse murmured and she found herself laughing. 

“I think it’s perfect.” 

* * *

They kept on the move for a month, Tulip showing Jesse just how easy it was to take things as they went, rob who they pleased. He knew it wasn’t a Christian lifestyle, but that was all the more reason to live it, wasn’t it? 

Little by little, Jesse felt his strength come back, started smoking, drinking, feeling like a man again. They kissed, _fuck,_ they kissed, but it’d usually end in him in the shower, cold water blasting over his body. She’d never tried to initiate sex or anything of that sort since the last time, though she was always there to hold him in her arms as they slept. 

Things felt less cautious between them as she drove down a lone Texan highway, her hair whipping wildly from the open windows, singing along to _Folsom Prison Blues_ on the radio. 

Jesse stared at her in wonderment from the passenger seat and felt a swelling in his chest. Before he could process it, he murmured: “Pull over, Tulip.” 

She paused, glanced over at him with a frown. “What’s up?” she didn’t pull over, just slowed her chevelle a bit

Boldly, Jesse scooted a bit closer towards her, shifting his hand over her thigh. “Please, pull over.” 

He felt her thigh quiver beneath his hand as she pushed down on the brake, guided her chevelle off of the road before turning it off. 

They sat in silence for a moment before Jesse abruptly got out of the car, walked around her side and opened her door. 

He knew Tulip wanted to say something cheeky, but she didn’t, just grinned up at him with that expression of childish glee that only he got to see before she stepped out, bumping the door shut with her hip. “Well? You got me out here.” 

Jesse only opened the back door, extended a hand to motion for her to get in. 

Tulip looked at him for a moment, took in his serious expression and couldn’t help but snort. “Jesse, this is us makin’ _love_ , not you leading me to my friggin’ death. Don’t be so damn serious,” and suddenly, her arms were strung around his neck, that grin of hers right in his face for a moment before she was kissing him. 

She pinned him against the side of the car, her hips pressed hard into his and this time, he felt no panic. This time, he only felt a rush of _response_. _Need_. 

In a second, he spun her around, pressing her into the car as his mouth made to devour hers, all tongue and teeth. 

He knew she liked this, knew by the way she gnawed on her lips when she saw him half naked, knew from the way she loved to tug his hair so hard when they’d kissed before. 

Now, her body shivered beaneath his, Tulip releasing one of the holiest moans he’d ever heard in his entire life against his mouth, the vibration tickling his lips. 

Gently, she pushed him back, whipping off her leather jacket and tossing it onto the driver’s seat through the open window. 

“Make love to me, Jesse,” she said in a soft, quiet voice that had him straining so hard against his jeans that he had to bite down on his lip to keep himself from whimpering.

Right out on the side of the open, empty road, he helped her shuck off her shirt, lowering his mouth to kiss along her shoulders as he’d wanted to since the first time he’d seen them. He nuzzled his progressing beard against them, and _fuck_ , her skin _was_ warm. 

His kisses were sloppy and she had to help him figure out how to get her bra off, but when he did, _fuck_. Jesse gazed upon her soft curves and dark nipples with wide eyes, his hands trembling on her hips. 

Tulip only grinned, seemed to find this all endearing and grabbed his wrists, pushed his hands up against them herself. 

“I’m right here t’help you,” she crooned softly, her voice cutting off into another, beautiful moan as he squeezed her breasts. 

Her hands led his down her stomach, pushed to her pants in the clear indication to get those off, and he did. They broke contact only so Tulip could get her boots off and step out of her jeans, tossing them in the driver’s seat with the rest of her clothes before, without any further ado, she was crawling into the back seat. “Get rid of those clothes, Custer. No clothes allowed in my backseat.” 

He couldn’t help but chuckle at that, silently cursing his hands for shaking as he pulled off his shirt, undid his belt. 

When he produced a small box of condoms from his back pocket, Tulip broke out in raucous laughter, “I taught you _so_ well,” she called, Jesse humbled to see a sense of pride in her eyes in the moonlight.

Once his clothes were piled atop hers, he dipped down into the car, Tulip lounging in the backseat with her knees drawn up. He closed the door and turned to her, his heart pounding, partly in anticipation, partly in fear. 

All it took was Tulip spreading her legs open for him and all that fear slipped away. She extended a finger, crooked it slowly to urge him closer, and he followed her command immediately.  

Slowly, she wriggled out of her panties, drawing her legs together long enough to get them off before she reached for his hand. 

Without any thought, (because this was Tulip and he trusted her wholly) he gave it to her. 

He didn’t expect her to immediately pull it down against the curls between her leg, didn’t expect to feel his fingers slip against her, to feel so _much_  wetness. 

“Y’feel that, Jesse?” Tulip’s voice was husky, her eyes hooded. 

“ _Mmhm_ ,” he replied, frozen in place, cock twitching fiercely in his briefs. 

“That’s all ‘cos of you, all _for_  you,” she pulled his hand back, gently lifted it to her mouth. He nearly came right there as she licked his digits with her soft, warm tongue. 

She released his hand once she was satisfied and nodded to his briefs. “C’mere and fuck me,” she said with that voice again, the one that made his entire body shiver. 

He managed to get his briefs off in the cramped backseat and as she made to touch his erection, he stopped her, wincing lightly. “Won’t last,” he grunted, and she nodded, pursing her lips. 

“Plenty of time for that later, huh?” she said, and _fuck,_ she meant it. 

He ripped a condom open, slipped it on before slowly, unsteadily, he climbed over her. Tulip’s legs immediately encircled his hips to guide him closer, heels digging into his buttocks. He looked down at her and took in the way her eyes bore into his, so full of love for him and only him.

She’d done this before, he knew it, so of course part of him felt entirely nervous that he wouldn’t even compare to her other partners. 

Tulip seemed to sense this though, slid her fingers through his hair and drew his mouth to hers for a kiss as he pressed the head of his cock against her, let out a pathetic whimper as her wetness welcomed him. 

Pushing into Tulip O’Hare was beyond anything he could imagine. Immediate, welcoming warmth took him in, his body trembling violently in a struggle to keep from spending himself in her right then and there. 

Despite his body screaming for him to move, Jesse didn’t. He leaned heavily against her, mouth desperately seeking hers for a sloppy kiss before he followed his instinct. 

“You don’t gotta go easy on me, just do what feels right,” Tulip softly told him, and he did. 

He thrust recklessly into her in an offbeat, desperate attempt to find release and in a few pathetic moments, his face fell against her shoulder. His hips bucked wildly as orgasm overwhelmed him, his vision blackening and head spinning. His entire body seemed to pulse, the very essence of the purest pleasure he’d ever known, one that had him sobbing out her name against her shoulder, hips jerking on their own accord. 

As he came down from his high, he left his sweaty forehead pressed to her shoulder, laying heavily against her.  They remained like that for awhile, connected, a little sweaty, but _together._ Tulip absently stroked one hand up and down his back, the other through his hair as he drew circles into her thigh. 

Finally, he pulled himself from her, tossed the condom out the window before Tulip murmured: “Was that good?” 

He grinned, his cheeks still flushed, “Yeah…” he looked at her, the way she smiled, pleased for him, and suddenly felt like a piece of shit. “You didn’t come, did you,” he deadpanned. 

Tulip hesitated for a moment. 

With all the men she’d been with, she’d never come. Sometimes, after they left, she’d do it herself, other times, they’d stay and she’d just pretend she was content. 

She should’ve known better, should’ve known that the only man in the whole wide world who’d ever care if she’d come would be Jesse Custer. 

“It’s okay, Jesse, I don’t expect you to-” 

“I _want_  to, Tulip,” something in his tone made her body shiver, “Show me.” 

She regarded him with some hesitance for a moment before she sat up and took his hand, glancing at his eyes for approval before slowly, pressing it back to her curls. 

Tulip didn’t want to explain, felt too embarrased about it, so instead she rocked her hips, ground herself against his palm. 

Her eyes drifted shut as she felt that peak building, gave a soft gasp as Jesse’s mouth fell to a breast, his tongue slowly panning along her hardened nipple as his other hand stroked her side. 

She gripped onto his shoulder for support as she moved, unabashedly giving another, hitched gasp as his fingers started to move with her. He moved his hand up until it hit that perfect spot asd she _mewled,_ stiffening for a moment. 

“There?” he asked, his voice so low, so earnest. 

“Yeah, _there_ ,” she replied in a grunt that cut off into a whimper as he started to rub her with even more vigor than before.

Jesse shifted his attentions to her other breast, keeping his fingers working all the while and savoring each, delicious noise that tumbled from her mouth. 

He drew back when he felt her hand tighten on his shoulder, found himself face-to-face with something that seemed too perfect to be reality. Tulip’s face was screwed up, her mouth agape as she released soft, hitched gasps. He took the initiative to rub more heavily and frantically against her slick flesh a and all at once, her eyes opened wide, mouth dropping further open. Her bleary gaze found his and her body stiffened, Tulip sighing: “ _Jesse_ ,” as softly as could be before giving a sharp cry. The leather beneath them squeaked as she dug her toes into it, her body twitching lightly as she remained rigid. 

Jesse watched all of this, his lips parted, eyes wide. He’d never seen anything so beautiful as Tulip coming undone by his hand, never felt such a fulfillment. In that moment, he wanted to do it again, wanted to make her come so many times that he could imprint that face and those noises into his memory forever. 

A few moments of this lasted before her body relaxed and her fingers found his hair and pushed his face down against her chest, pillowing him as he lay against her body. 

For a long while, he lay there, listening to her heavy breaths as she came down from the high he’d delivered to her, to her slowing heartbeat. 

“Jesse?” she finally asked, her voice incredibly fragile, perhaps the most fragile he’d ever heard her. 

“Yeah?” 

“’Till the end of the world, right?” he glanced up and took in the way she looked down upon him, almost fearfully. She thought he’d leave her, thought he’d only turn out like the others who’d abandoned her so easily. 

Fuck no, he wasn’t them. He’d beat any of those fuckers if he ever saw them come close. 

“’Till the end of the world,” he told her, gave the most meaningful stare he could before kissing her. 

They remained in the backseat for a long while, stroking one another and kissing at their leisure. It was a revered, peaceful moment they’d always look back on before their lives truly began. 

Soon enough they’d create a name for themselves, gain a few new scars and bruises in the process, but they’d do all of that together. 

They were a team, a partnership that stood on equal ground and fuck, they were the best at it. 

So long as they had one another, so long as they reminded each other every once and awhile “’’ _Till the end of the world,_ ” they were invincible. 

Neither Jesse or Tulip ever expected to be apart, expected to see Annville again. 

Things wouldn’t work out that way, of course, in the long run, but despite the turbulent change of paths, he’d still murmur: “’ _Till the end of the world,”_ to her in a guilty message left upon her phone, and she’d softly whisper  _“’Till the end of the world,”_ in reply as she drove back to him. 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> This series is based off of a prompt for Jesse/Tulip's first kiss from storyteller1212. I've left it rated M for mentions of abuse. The third part might end up being smut, not sure yet ;) 
> 
> Feel free to prompt me at gxnsandtxlips.tumblr.com


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